From this weekend

Saturday evening was the first time I'd ever heard Cindy Cruse Ratcliff in a full solo. Alabaster Box, to be exact. It sent chills through me! I asked a blogger friend to get me the Sat pm version. (the pianist was like the best job in that genre I've ever heard!) So many people to learn from in such a big place. I find that its sometimes easiest- especially when I don't know as many people as I'd like to- to learn a lot from myself. And about myself. I've been working on being me, and really finding out who I am. This of course is not meant in the cliche as it is usually talked about by students who are trying to 'find themselves'. I'm referring to first of all finding out who and what God says I am. "That's the point I'm trying to make!" Making an effort to get rid of all the junkiness, as I like to call it, ie...sarcasm, cynicism, bitterness, hardness towards people, (miranda priestley-type attitudes) etc that has been growing for years. With all that leaving, it's been interesting to find what I need to replace it with. For starters, Love is the best filler for my heart. Not to mention- peace, forgiveness, etc. A reformation of my reactions, thoughts, and motives for seemingly everything that I do, and everyone that I relate with. Love is genuine and real. Love puts it all out there, and is not ashamed that it doesn't fit in perfectly, or doesn't look like everybody else, and is not ashamed of what it does.

Healing, anyone?

I would just like to comment on healing. I've heard lots of people say that healing has passed away (like it died or something). Although they don't really know when, or where, or how it passed away...but it did somehow. There's nothing in the Bible that says so. Usually they just think that Jesus only gave His disciples that authority, but if you try it and release your faith, you'll see that He meant for you to be able to do those things too. That would have been an interesting story- if only those in Jesus generation could get healed...not us! That would mean they got healed on earth and heaven, and we get heaven after earth...but no healing. He's the same. He is 'I AM'. Same thing is available for us today. I once heard a professor who said that he just didn't see anywhere in the Bible where we were commanded to to the same things that Jesus' disciples were commanded to do. That's because we weren't. Their command is still our command. (What am I if I'm not a disciple? Surely God wouldn't be that unfair.....to discriminate on the basis of generation!) If you just go with that 'assumption', everything will change in your understanding of the Word, and its relevance to you today. He is God....He changes not.

I completely overlooked the fact that I forgot to post something about The Gathering with Element in The Loft. (its like I'm speaking another language!)aka.....the college group every Thurs night at church.......... 2 vital keys to help us understand the opposite sex. Something I'd never really thought about before. He said that the primary (just primary, not "only") need of guys is to be respected, while for ladies it is to be loved. Now, both need both, but we already knew that. He took that out of the teaching in Ephesians. "reverence your husband....love your wives..."
1. Guys are like waffles. They usually compartmentalize everything they do or think about. Only one subject at a time. (This is very true.)
2. Girls are like spaghetti. Everything is connected in some (sometimes hard to read) way. One line of thought can be seamlessly connected to another- sometimes completely unrelated.
Being a guy myself, I felt what he said was true, but please keep in mind...these are only generalities....not necessarily across the board.
With all that being out in the open, now I can continue with a report on "Love--Your Number One Priority!" by Kenneth Copeland. Just finished listening this afternoon. Love is the most important thing.....to preach on, think on, and build faith on. Faith will not work without it! Its too bad that there has been sooo much preaching on a whole bunch of other stuff (which political party to vote for, skirt lengths, etc)...because people don't preach from uncontaminated love, which is fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear. And what I've been realizing is that if the Word says "Be ye holy, as I am holy" then that's what I'm called to do. And if I'm called to do it, then I must be able to. But for a long time I thought it was always impossible and very difficult to stay sin-free...well that was a lie meant to deceive me. Of course, nobody stays perfect, but most people dwell on the thought that they can't. We need to be dwelling on the fact that Satan has already been defeated, and that he does not ever want us to know what has happened to our spirits after the new birth. When we sin, we shouldn't be taking 2 weeks to feel sorry and guilty enough before we stop and repent! Repent in 2 seconds. We are more than conquerors,...already! (Usually everything does go back to our authority in Christ) But if love isn't operating, all that's not going to work. Its hard to not love (ie....forgive, let go of bitterness) and then expect to have your faith to work at the time! Don't try raising somebody from the dead when you're not walking in love...bad results. These are just some things I gleaned tonight. And in closing....I will address this issue of casting our care on God. We must do just that. Care goes out by 'casting'. Not worrying. Or even praying....but casting it over onto Him. That is how it leaves us. We must speak to it, just like we must speak to fear and worry (which is only a form of fear). They do understand human commands. They will leave. Watch your confession!

many thoughts for thursday

What is really simple and profound is that only those who step out and make a change will experience a change. Take me for instance (since its my blog). I didn't know what else would be out there for me....what positions, places, or people. At the time, I didn't care either. I chose to get myself out of all the bad stuff. Since then, I've talked with soooo many people that, delicately put, just enjoy talking about their religious freedom, but don't have the slightest intention of doing anything more than that. It would have been extremely easy to go back to my former educational institution (lets face it....sometimes it easy to think about even now). I had made a name for myself there, people were intimidated by me, and I liked it that way.....for a short time. But always walking around with a scowl on one's face, trying to look soooo important can do it for you only so long. Its so much easier to smile, now. Going to a such a large church, you never know who you're going to bump into around Houston that also attends...keeps things on the upandup, so to speak. The world is already a depressed place... I feel I should do my part to influence others in a positive way. People are already so beaten up...oh sure, they may not even be aware that they really do need a Saviour for their eternity's sake, but they do already know that life without fulfillment is a type of hell on earth. They simply have not been told how much better things could be. Religion tells them their problems will be solved only after they make is to Heaven....here we go again with the 'sweet by and by' mentality. Where do you think humans get the idea that they want things to be good on earth---now---not just in Heaven? God gave that desire to them. He wants us to be blessed! Money cannot fill that void....it just makes people comfortable while they're miserable! I'm not against Biblical and complete prosperity. Finances are included in total prosperity, but that's not all. Total satisfaction, health, and favor, etc, are all included. My life needs to be a commercial for God. It needs to make Him look good and attractive to the world! They are not interested in a Believer that suffers through life, barely making ends meet......just surviving, in essence. When those in the world are falling apart, inflation is high, gas is expensive, disease and destruction are everywhere, and no money is ever left over --that I'll be living in abundance, because I've put all my trust in God. He sees to my well-being, no matter what is going on around me. I function on earth through Heaven's economy and unchanging spiritual laws. That is what enables me. What a great thought....I cast all my cares on Him. I often remind myself that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. God meets us at our real level of expectancy (not just a positive thought once in a while, but the "default" of our heart's thoughts); therefore, I choose to come to Him and find rest for myself.

Already, continued.

I hear people say, "Well, I'm going to do this for God just because He asked me to, or just because the Word says I'm supposed to....and leave the results in His hands. So WHY are they doing anything in the first place? Do they think God doesn't want them to have any results?
You need to be claiming your desired results, because that is what God promised. It's amazing to see how many Believers never get anywhere, because they think "Do something bad...and God is gonna smack you hard!" So what happens if I do something good, or if I give something? Well, I give and it will be given unto me....more than I gave. (30 60 or 100 fold). We would think badly of a farmer who planted his seeds and then let his harvest rot in the soil. No, that farmer expects his return, and he goes and gets it. What a correlation.
John 10:10 says "I am come that they might have life...more abundantly, but the thief comes not but to kill, steal, and destroy." This is NOT just referring to eternal life. Does religion really think that is all Jesus' resurrection is good for (!!!). NO. Isn't it logical to think that it must be able to do us some kind of good, here and now on earth? I think so. But if your mind is closed off to this kind of thinking, then you'll probably be a while. I very forcefully cut myself off from the working of the Holy Spirit in the past (yes, I AM talking about speaking in tongues....as in my personal prayer language, not just foreign tongues), and now its awesome to see the transformation in my spirit! At my former college, I was taught that speaking in tongues was basically a sign of judgment on Believers. It's such a pathetic excuse, I know, but not that hard to make yourself believe when you don't have anything else besides independent, fundamental, baptist religion to hang on to. I did not live in freedom. I lived without the fullness of the Holy Ghost, having never been baptised in Him. Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. I didn't live in liberty, either. Living with junk does NOT bring glory to God. Somehow, people convince themselves that this illogical thesis is true, and then usually end up dying early. Oh, of course they are good people with honest and sincere intentions, and with hearts for God, but still deal with so much pain in life. Jesus said that through his poverty I could be rich. Rich. Please don't disqualify...go ahead take it literally. It's late...and that's a whole extra sack of worms to open up...later.

We have (already) overcome

Right now I am listening to my newest musical purchase...Israel and New Breed's new live project called "A Deeper Level". It is truly from a deeper level. His real compassion for all people really comes out in the songs, of course that is wonderfully combined with great music, too. I will have to say that my favorite is "We Have Overcome". Its one we sing alot at church...thats probably why...but it also describes in some sense the Believers Authority. We 'have" implies 'already'. Thats the real issue. Most people are still begging God to do this or that, and its not necessary.....because He's already done whatever we need Him to do. Now, it's up to us....to receive, or reject. Jesus' resurrection gave us all the healing, deliverance, and authority we would ever need to do anything in this world. Gloria Copeland has it right when she says "You can talk the problem and keep the problem, or you can talk the Word, and get the answer". This is the process of renewing your mind, prescribed in Romans 12:1,2. The majority gets born again, and then stops with their faith. Usually thats because of religion. Almost all Protestantism (including Baptists) inadvertantly teaches people to doubt. That is tragic.

New Believer: "Did God really say that I am healed by His stripes???"
Religion: "Well...uh...sure, but don't get too fanatical about that....you never know what you're going to have to deal with on this earth..."
Jesus said in the world we will have tribulation. Religion usually stops there, BUT the rest of the verse is the whole point. But be of good cheer, because He has already overcome the world!
It says that we need to fight the good fight of faith, but religion's nasty twist on this is we probably won't really win in the end, only when Jesus comes, or only when we get to Heaven "in the sweet by and by". If this flimsy excuse wasn't so life-constricting, it would be laughable. It is a good fight, because we win it!, not bc we lose, and somehow God gets the glory in losing a fight. He does not have any fights on record that He lost....ever.

get on to it

This is a personalized recap of what we heard at church this weekend. One phrase meant so much to me, and when I can still hear the words being said...wow. Very few human words ever get that far down. "The right people ARE out there." That shabby , vague little sentence is it! As I listened, I felt my spirit casting all my cares about the right people in my life off on God. We all have marked moments in life, given to us by God. They sometimes are small windows of opportunity. They are very important times.....that will usually determine much bigger outcomes in our futures. This all goes along with trusting God to get us where we need to be. We need to learn the importance of moving at the right time....stepping out in faith when we sense the leading. Right now there's a situation I'm dealing with that I really want the right person to learn from....and so that 'insignificant' phrase was for me. The only one who can keep you from getting to your destiny is you. One friend told me that he thought that line of thinking was "humanistic". Thankfully I wasn't bothered....only enough to remember it and write it for all the world to see... I thought about how that classic statement of religion's has kept so many people beaten into the ground. We've all heard it...the endless debate about "which way is God's will?" Well, I know people lots of people who have barely read the Word (well they've read all the religious parts), have been taught by religion to doubt ever since they were babe Believers, and now they want God's absolute best for this or that decision. Not gonna work, folks. I have to confront my will, and flesh every day about how much I say I want a great relationship with God, only to not crack His words open all day long! What words does Paul use again? Words like "mortify" and "crucify". That's pretty explicit. But nevertheless, that's whats required, at least for a while, while we get our bodies to start following our renewed minds and strengthened souls, instead of vice versa. The preacher says "If we want God's best, we must be willing to give Him our best."

afraid of?

While doing some messaging this weekend, I began to think about just how much I could be something different than what people think. Is that wrong? Ah, I believe the answer lies in the motive. That said, I believe my motives were always with the best intentions (of course on Wed night at church, I heard it said that good intentions weren't enough....compared to action). But I also have seen that when I isolated myself into thinking that I was completely different from everybody else, it didn't have the best outcome. Because when I did this, I didn't bare all to most people. Even to those who I called my 'bestest' of friends, I never shared my true passion for life. Questions about that are these: Were my true passions really passions at that time? and Just what is wrong with not telling the majority of those you're around on a daily basis your entire mind? Hmm. But I do see where the real me came out, occasionally. My thesis is this: Things get dangerous when you feel you have to live a private life out in the open every day. When that was the case in my life, I only talked about what supremely mattered in my life to maybe 2 people, 3 at the most. Now, gradually, that number grew, and is now more than I once thought possible. But, life cannot be spent always having an agenda that 'tries to' do anything with others. Others will be others. Even when they say they're going to do one thing or go one way, or they're interested in such and such, at the end of the day, they have done only what they wanted to do in the first place. I used to say 'people don't change people- God does the changing', and that is certainly true. But in my own life, I have been changed by what I heard others saying. What I say and do can affect others to change. The real issue here....again, is motive.

people need love

As humans, there is nothing more important here on earth than our relationships. We are wired with a need for communication...of some sort. Of course, it can mean finding love. In modern society though, it usually means finding lust. Where must those people find true satisfaction? Only in a relationship. With God, of course. That void in us humans was placed there by God Himself. Die still void, and your future is bleak. But die full, and your life is just beginning. The time we are on earth is so short....its only a time to have relationships- with God, and others. What I'm saying is that people matter. No matter how hard some try to make the others in their lives just liabilities, that will never erase the simple (but profound) truth that those God has given us are our greatest assets. People must hear about the lives that God wants them to have. A hope. A future. A destiny that can't be replaced with anything. The deepest level of enjoyment and even euphoria. God is a God of love and holiness with a perfectly transcending blend of righteous judgment. Not more, not less. he can't be something else, other than what His Word says. He is His Word. Start there. Why would He have wasted His time then, to create us?? To love, fellowship with us, and enjoy us. His need for us, dare I say? Take heed what ye hear. Or, take heed what you let yourself listen to. Because what you hear and dwell on will determine what you say. And what you say is what you will be justified by, or condemned by.

the game of love: risk

And yet another revelation. Tonight at Element (a gathering of college age and twentysomethings), the lesson was on relationships. It began with everybody singing the theme song from the sitcom "Friends", which of course all were familiar with. The song was "I'll Be There for You". Interesting premise. From the start, I knew this message was going to have potential, but it turned out to be revolutionary. More and more, I find myself wanting to label everything "revolutionary", when really, I am just relating to it easily. There's power in simplicity, and relativity. After the music part of it, which, oddly enough, wasn't the best part for me, the whole thing became a study on Risk. Yes.....taking it. In life. And most importantly, in your relationships. Question: Have you ever been 'used and abused' by another person?? Have you ever truly expressed yourself, and then rejected or shunned?? and so on. The point is that God, above all others, knows exactly how it feels to put it all on the line, and leave the ball in their court. He took the ultimate risk. What other way for Him to express His desire for relationship and intimacy with His own creation than taking on our form? Obviously, He couldn't just come down and live on earth, with all His holiness, so it makes perfect sense that He would come humbly....risking everything....His own son's life. He's been getting hurt in relationships for a long time, and yet He still risks it. That certainly shows unconditional love....not surprising. He is Love. Its part life....natural people will hurt people. Sometimes that seems to be the essence of human relationships, and it will be, if there's fear involved. But perfect love flushes out fear! That's how God can keep on risking....He'll never stop. I'm created in His image, so if He can risk, then so can I. There's freedom in letting go of the control. God is not a manipulative Being. The whole Bible itself shows that He does not sit in Heaven just waiting for me to mess up, so He can pummel me. He moved; and now He looks, waiting for me.

Winds of change.

Its a good thing when you decide that the 'level' you've been on with God is no longer good enough. You press up. I told my Mom on our way out of church tonight that each time I go, I leave never the same again. It just keeps getting better for me. She said that that was a very good testimony for the church! I've been discovering a form of worship that I've never known before....accentuating the positive, among others facets. The pastor says 'Don't tell God how big your mountains are; tell your mountains how big your God is!' Sounds to me like he's saying that your victory has to do with your focus... hmm. And of course, everybody agrees and claps and so on. But hold on......me?? 2 years ago, I would have walked out on a service like that (well probably not, there still being then a big amount of the fear of man in me, that wouldn't have kept up appearances well enough), or at best, sat there with my arms folded in dismay (at their liberal-ness) and disbelief> which was the very reason I couldn't understand the value of this whole "belief system", as I labeled it. After all, I was an Independent, fundamental, 1611 KJV-only carrying, old-fashioned Baptist. I had to go to a Baptist high school (I thought), which took me to a Baptist church, which took me to a Baptist college. But from then on out, I wanted out. Please don't mis-take me....I had a good time, met great friends, and had life-changing opportunities...that I took. but it was never enough. It was never going to be enough. The afore-mentioned activities were not a waste of time....oh no. They were Gods ways to get me where He wanted me. And I did love my life (and its ways).....I had what I wanted, and much more......I was blessed and promoted. And then I left. but more importantly, I love my life now more. I didn't know about the authority I had as a child of God over the enemy. I didn't know that it was still "God's will" to.....well, do... a lot of things (just about everything I always 'knew' He wasn't doing anymore!). Because I had never heard....because I wouldn't let myself listen, or even hear what God was trying to get across to me. But now things have changed. Little by little. Thoughts inside of me like: "I can't be thinking this way...this is heretical!" "Don't even dare to ask that question!" eventually got to: "That is not what the Bible actually says...could what Ive been buying into be.....not true?" You see, I had started with religion, and added the Bible to it (the very thing I so blatantly criticized other groups for being guilty of). Talk about the wrong order! I should have started with God and taken Him literally at His Word, and then taken wise heed to any assumption I added after that. So now I'm transforming my faith into something that I love to use everyday...its exhilarating. This is not an uncommon experience for people my age, I suppose, but it envelops such life-altering-- albeit...future-altering truths for me. Most Christians can usually be found begging and pleading with God to help them climb a mountain (used to be me); now, I move the mountains with what God already gave me. Be a mountain-mover, not a mountain-climber.

change of schedule!

I'll have to find something else to do (which won't be too difficult) this Sunday night, because the Israel and New Breed concert has been moved up to Sept. 30. Keep me waiting...

Pre-announcment about the weekend

On Sunday night, I'm off to the concert at church- Israel and New Breed will be performing. This is for their new CD "A Deeper Level", and believe me, the clips I've heard are truly amazing! It's a bit odd to even be advertising this type of thing, but I guess thats just how far I've come!
As a side, Israel has a new book, with the same title- Also to be read.

First Things 1st.

Ok, so this is a huge step into the world of technology, but, as always, I'll quickly get used to it. I hope this blog won't become something that is enjoyed by only me. (sometimes I find that I really love reading what I've written). Not sure where that idea stems from.



I will be talking (ok...typing, rather) much about God, and my relationship and new growth with Him. Never thought I would be 'publishing' this for the world to see, but, it isn't going to be boring, either! Thats up to me.



I have just moved back to Tx.....the long -awaited.....the biggy. Its interesting to describe what you feel like when a completely new chapter of life is already on the 14th page. Issues that would seemingly never go away....have been gone for awhile. Now I'm delving into the process of clearing my mind.....religiously, socially, and yes, physically. When I realized that what I had lived and acted out (basically 'been') for 9 or so years was not the direction that God wanted my future to go, thats when the change began. It took me a very long time to become open to His leading. This is my journey to grace. Out of guilt. Into freedom. Into different kinds of battles. Out of religious notions, and into Love.